What Do You Think Of My Story?
It’s sort of based on my life. Sort of. Bear in mind i’m on my mum’s yahoo & I’m only 10 years old.
I glared out of my bedroom window. The day was cold, dull with rain. Just how I like it, I thought to myself. I glanced out the window for a last few seconds then tumbled onto my bed & shoved twilight into the DVD player-quickly but carefully, as I had done this so many times I could do it with one hand & blindfolded. I settled into the film, mouthing every word, just like I had done the other 50 times I’d seen it. When the film finished, I took the disc from the player & put it back in it’s case. I was obsessed with twilight, & in love with one of it’s main characters-Edward Cullen. I stared at the DVD case with his unbelievebly perfect face on & stroked it carefully. I sighed, as I would never get to do this in real life. I sighed again & made my way downstairs.
“Morning, Mum,” I yawned.
“Morning, hun, nice sleep? Nice twilight screening? Again?” She replied. I laughed, & nodded. Same routine. Every morning..I laughed again-this time to myself. I sighed deeply & shrugged my shoulders. Walking over to the 5 1/2 ft long mirror, I grimaced at the horrible reflection of myself. Too tanned. Hair a horrible ash blonde. Of course, my hair was a normal blonde to everybody else,perfectly normal. But to me, it was just…eurgh. I so wanted my hair like Alice-(Edward Cullen’s foster sister)-It was a reddish dark brown colour, gelled & cut into a short pixie spikey look. I groaned at my 14 year old self. Obviously, my Mum heard.
“Lauren, would you stop looking at yourself like you are a pile of dirt that nobody wants to clean up. You are perfectly fine, & you know that!”
“Mm.” I replied. Of course I wanted to turn around & scream at her, ‘I am surely NOT perfectly fine, do I look like a vampire to you?!’ But, I knew I was better than that, so I slumped to the bathroom & brushed my teeth. I hopped in the shower, & when I was dry, I popped on some plain white underwear & opened one of my draws. I grabbed one of the three bottles of sunblock & plastered it all over my face & body. I know, it was raining outside, but sunrays still get through & there was no way I was getting a tan. Once it was dry, I padded white shimmer face powder all over every single part of my body. I took the twilight soundtrack & put it into my cd player, & started singing along with it. As I was doing so, I rummaged through my closet for my Alice Cullen outfit. I’d spent weeks down the town centre trying to find one just like Alice’s, & I would not give up. I’d finally found one, & that was the one I want to wear. “Aha.” I whispered, & laid a slate grey/silvery coloured dress on my bed. I pulled out the matching darker grey long sleeved shrug & also put it on the bed. I pulled down the built in ironing board from my wall & turned the iron on & started ironing. When I’d finished, I put it all back away & I slipped the dress over my head & stroked it down. I got closer to my mirror & applied a minimum amount of mascara, then smoothly put on my blood red lipstick. I brushed my just under the shoulder length hair & tonged my hair so it went slightly wavy. Thats my daily look done. I laid on my bed, relaxing listening to The River Flows In You- Yiruma when the buzzing & loud noise of my phone startled me. I ran to my cd player & turned the volume down so it was just a background noise. I answered my phone & laid on my belly on my bed.
“Hello?” I asked.
“Hi Lauren,” The caller said. I immediately recognized her voice-My best friend Lizzie.
“Oh, hi Lizzie,” I replied.
“Hey, do you wanna come round? I’m having a sleepover tonight with a few mates from school. I was thinking you could come round now & help me set up?”
“I’ll ask now, 2 seconds” I replied. “Mum!! Can I sleep at Lizzies & go round there now?!” There was silence for a few seconds.
“Yeah, course, get your stuff ready!” Mum answered.
“Yeah I’m allowed. I’ll just pack my stuff & I will be on my way,” I said in a normal volume to Lizzie.
“Great, I’ll see you in a min!”
“Bye,”
“Bye!”
I fumbled around in my closet to find pyjamas & jeans & a top. This is OK, I thought, & slung all of it in a bag. I picked up my makeup, sunblock, tongs & a toothbrush & put them all in there too. I shoved my phone in my pocket & skipped downstairs.
February 5th, 2010 at 12:12 am
thats really good. i wrote stories when i was your age & thats better than anything i ever wrote. I’m thinking its not finished is it? but it’s fab so far.
its good.
you use your grammar & language correctly n everything.
February 5th, 2010 at 4:37 am
I don’t believe ur 10! If u are u have incredible talant. U should show this to ur English teacher although i’m sure he/she is aware of ur capability already!