Help About Cheating?
my live in boyfriend & father of my two sons went out on a business networking cocktail hour. He met up with some people that would be good connections & went to a lounge. He came home at two in the morning, which he knows I’m not ok with. But when he came home I saw his shirt that he took off & it had make up on one shoulder & lipstick under the front shirt pocket. He also had a white line stain on his top pant leg. He said a lady fell into him at the club & that is where the lipstick came to play. The makeup he explained the next day was from a ex coworker he bumped into during the day, & the pant spot he doesn’t know. He tried to hide the stain on his shirt when he came in with his jacket. What should i do should i believe him. This is the first time in 3 years that this happened.
February 7th, 2010 at 7:29 pm
First time ever it has happened or first time in 3 years?
Either way, if your gut is telling you otherwise, I think it is time to move on. I know it is hard, but you have children to think about. I mean, do you want them to grow up & see Daddy’s behavior & in turn be taught that it is ok? I think you need a serious talk. After all, if there was nothing going on, why would he try & hide it? You know?
February 7th, 2010 at 10:51 pm
absolutely not hes lieing like a dog. get rid of him now or it will just get worse
February 8th, 2010 at 5:49 am
Maybe it is the truth…why are you doubting him if he has not done anything like this before. Maybe it was a accident. Not enough proof to go on. Leave it alone.
February 8th, 2010 at 8:29 am
hire an investigator or do it yourself. if u hire an investigator & have evidence of him being unfaithful & decide to get a divorce(i know im getting ahead of myself but this things are always good to know) u’ll get more money from the divorce. he IS very probably cheating & he is creating a series of unfortunate events to cover his not so good lies.
also take to him about first, don’t fight, talk.
if u r willing to forgive him be sure to tell him that so he can feel more comfortable admitting to his nasty lies.
if u do forgive him get marriage counseling.
its all very hard but in the end u will gain peace of mind.
February 8th, 2010 at 11:57 am
You should believe him because the truth will drive you crazy & make you end it with him. The problem is all men cheat & the next man will cheat on you too. All the women that give you advice to end it just haven’t caught their man yet.
February 8th, 2010 at 3:29 pm
R. E. S. P. E. C. T.
Find out what it means to me!
Just a little bit,
Just a little bit!
———————-
Woman you have a brain. You know what is going on & what isn’t.
Gather your intuition together & decide if you are staying or going.
—————-
Best wishes,
Nicole
February 8th, 2010 at 7:30 pm
his lieing bad bad bad get him out of the house till he can be a man & tell you what you already know.goodluck sweetie your better than that
February 8th, 2010 at 9:52 pm
I feel for ya – I wouldn’t want to be in your position. You have two small children to raise & that is much harder without their father.
You know already that the chances of the make-up coming from someone falling into him are slim to none.
I’m sure he’s being dishonest, but how dishonest is hard to say. My grandmother had a very good saying that I’m just now really starting to believe at 40. “How can you tell if a man is lying? If his mouth is moving”.
I’d talk to him, tell him you think something unacceptable was going on & see how he reacts. You also need to lay some ground rules about what you absolutely will not tolerate & let him kniow what the consequences are. This ONLY works if you follow through with that you say.
I wouldn’t put up with that crap… the only saving grace is that SURELY he didn’t actually mess around with someone & be stupid enough to come home with make-up all over him. Do his clothes smell like perfume? That requires longer contact & would be more alarming than the make-up. A quick hug could do that.
Good Luck!
February 9th, 2010 at 3:11 am
he just cheated on you.
leave him
February 9th, 2010 at 5:26 am
Before you do anything more i think you should do a mini assesment of your relationship. Men cheat on women they love, often because there’s deep emotional issues within his current relationship.
As you’ve been together for 3 years.. don’t go pointing the finger as he’ll assume you consider him guilty until proven innocent. Which might make him think you dont trust him.
Get the facts first, then maybe ask him about it…
Does sound very sus. Investigate !
February 9th, 2010 at 7:56 am
It sounds that your BF telling lie . I think you need to make an investigation on him . you can find a private investigator to check about your BF .
maybe this would helps you
http://www.helpschina.com
February 9th, 2010 at 9:49 am
You just have to take it I guess if he is a live-in boyfriend & not a husband. Sounds like he had some fun without you. You need to talk to him about what is going on because it sounds like he will be moving on with his life soon.
February 9th, 2010 at 3:57 pm
Personally I am skeptical of someone who has an answer for everything….How convenient for him to remember each & every incident & how things just rubbed off on him….He also tried to hide the stain on his shirt…that implies deception…Don’t know for sure if he was cheating…but he certainly was up to no good…
February 9th, 2010 at 9:40 pm
Truthfully……sounds like a lie. I can’t tell you what you should do about it since that’s for you to decide.
February 10th, 2010 at 3:58 am
He cheated, maybe just a little, but hey you are not married, he has the right as long as it is not flaunted in front of the kids.
By definition you have an open relationship.
February 10th, 2010 at 4:55 am
wow that was one good lap dance,and it shows, better have that man checked for rabies, before you hop in the sac again with him.
February 10th, 2010 at 10:33 am
There was definitely a woman involved & he is definitely hiding something,that is all you really know.Time to talk to him, his reaction will tell you the rest
February 10th, 2010 at 5:13 pm
What a mess!! Hey, he knew You were not ok with his staying out till two, he did it anyway. He arrives home with questionable substances on his personal clothing, not an ok issue either. So, the question here is, what are You willing to put up with from him, & have You told him in certain terms? First time, last time, does it really matter? The questions he has raised for you are the ones to approach him with & the way he responds are the things to be aware of. His answers may suit his needs & even console you, yet, his actions?
February 10th, 2010 at 5:37 pm
Unless women are now wearing makeup on their clothes,he’s lying. I mean, think about it. What positions would he have had to be in to “bump” into a coworker & get stains on parts of his clothes where makeup is not worn?
It’s pretty clear to me he cheated !
February 10th, 2010 at 7:27 pm
Do not think he is cheating, it is amazing how much make up comes of without anything but brushing someone, especially if he is tall
February 10th, 2010 at 8:00 pm
If you truly believe him then just let it go.
February 11th, 2010 at 2:26 am
Well yes he’s lying which you knew because you came & asked us about it, if you thought he was telling the truth then you wouldn’t have questioned it. Second, this man tried to hide it so you know he’s lying. And most importantly, he’s your boyfriend not your husband, if you’re okay with being cheating, which you’re telling us by saying it’s the first time in three years, as if that’s better than not at all, then I say stay with him. But not only are you staying with a cheater but a liar, he lied to you about this then he’ll lie to you about something else & it’s only a matter of time. You have children with this person so I know it’s not just get out, but ask him to tell you the truth. Ask him to tell you the story over & over & see if he changes anything, if he does then you know he’s lying the thing is. He’s not your husband & just because you’re not with him doesn’t mean he can’t be apart of the childrens’ life. But I know you have to put your children first, but this will eat up at you. Because he’s been with someone else. If you do leave him then know there is someone out there who will love you enough to want to be with you & only you & have self control, & love your children enough to want nothing but the best for them, which is loving their mother & being a good example of how a many should be. But with Mr. Come Home Late, talk to him first, If you can’t trust what he says, then leave him. The relationship isn’t based off of anything other than the fact that you have children together, if you do trust what he says then seems to me like you don’t have a problem. Good luck sweetie with whatever you decide.
February 11th, 2010 at 4:15 am
First………. you gotta love his “explanation”. A lady “fell” against him at a club. Ya…. that happens ALL the time when a lady will attempt to break her fall with her lips against random people at a club.
heh heh
Okay……………. here’s the deal….. he went out, had a few with the boys, & completely put you out of his head. The fact that he is your live in boyfriend… has fathered two kids with you… & he hasn’t married you tells me that he isn’t thinking much about you at all.
So, yeah………I’d vote that he is lying to you. What are you going to do about it?
February 11th, 2010 at 7:42 am
Not cheating. Sounds like he had a wild night at the strip club, which, all in all, is pretty harmless.
February 11th, 2010 at 12:28 pm
sorry i think hes lying like a dog.out till 2am & comes home with makeup on his shirt & unexplainable white streaks on his pants.boy that dosent take a rocket scientist to figure out.go with your gut!you said this is the first time this happened in 3 years so that says to me that he has does something similar to this 3 years ago (that you know of) once a cheat always a cheat
February 11th, 2010 at 4:26 pm
leave him
February 11th, 2010 at 7:11 pm
Sounds like you just completed a CSI investigation on him. You know him well enough, thats for you to judge not anyone else.
February 11th, 2010 at 11:28 pm
It could all really be innocent. I don’t know where you live & what people are like there but I have definitely seen people very unsteady on their feet in a bar. Is it plausible that it may have occurred that way? I think so. Who in the world is going to kiss him under the shirt pocket? That doesn’t seem sensible.
I’ve been to many business networking events. It isn’t a hookup type event, it is a money making event. If he is going to this it is because he is trying to make more money for his family. This just isn’t the type of circumstances where this would fly.
He might have been naughty & he might not. You probably at least need to provide more scrutiny to his whereabouts. However, you say he has been trustworthy, I think you have to give him the benefit of the doubt. Don’t listen to the cut & run small minds. Assume he is telling the truth.
Are you going to really ditch a relationship that you care about over something that might not have happened?
I’m certain to a lot of people his story sounds like a lie. These people don’t know him & the way they jump toward yelling liar & cheater makes me think they are very intimate with these acts. Don’t stamp your boyfriend with their guilt. You are the one that knows him. Make your decision without a bunch of people that aren’t living your life. They don’t have to suffer the consequences but you do. And, you better hope that if you are ever accused of a crime, they aren’t on the jury.
fs