Lipstick Answers

. 1.) Two lawyers & their boss go out for lunch & run into a genie.
“If you all give me five dollars each, I’ll grant you one wish.” The genie sighed.
All three lawyers debated & gave the genie fifteen dollars total. The first one goes, “I would like to go to Paradise & never come back.” He was gone.
“Wow, that was some serious stuff,” said the other two.
The second lawyer goes & wishes for a beautiful wife & unlimited money in Paradise.
The boss looks at his watch & says to the genie, “I want them both back by 3:30.”
2.)Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. “My name is Billy. What’s yours?” asked the first boy. “Tommy,” replied the second. “My Daddy’s an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?” asked Billy. Tommy replied, “My Daddy’s a lawyer.” “Honest?” asked Billy. “No, just the regular kind”, replied Tommy.
3.)Three mice are being chased by a cat. The mice were cornered when one of the mice turned around & barked, “Ruff! Ruff! Ruff!” The surprised cat ran away scared. Later when the mice told their mother what happened, she smiled & said, “You see, it pays to be bilingual!”
4.)A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, & then she hung up.
“Wow!,” said her father, “That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?”
“Wrong number,” replied the girl.
5.) On a shopping trip to the city, a backwoods farmer bought a 24-piece jigsaw puzzle. He worked on it every night for two weeks. Finally, the puzzle was finished.
“Look what I’ve done, Jess,” he said proudly to a visiting neighbor.
“That’s surely something’, Willard. How long it take you?”
“Only two weeks.”
“Never done a puzzle myself,” Jess said. “Is two weeks fast?”
“Darn tooting’,” Willard said. “Look at the box. It says, ‘From two to four years.’”
6.)According to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick & would put it on in the restroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all of the girls to the restroom & met them there with the maintenance man.
She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night. To demonstrate how! difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance guy to clean one of them. He took a long handled squeegee, dipped it into the toilet & then cleaned the mirror.
Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirrors.
Hope you like them