Lipstick Answers

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company’s Christmas Party.
>>>Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn’t taste like alcohol at all.
>>>He didn’t even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he
>>>was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.
>>>Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, & the first thing he sees
>>>is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And,
>>>next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up & sees his clothing in front
>>>of him, all clean & pressed.
>>>He looks around the room & sees that it is in perfect order,
>>>spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.
>>>He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring
>>>back at him in the bathroom mirror.
>>>Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in
>>>red with little hearts on it & a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick:
>>>”Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to
>>>make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian”
>>>He stumbles to the kitchen & sure enough, there is hot breakfast,
>>>steaming hot coffee & the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.
>>>Jack asks, “Son…what happened last night?”
>>>”Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk & out of your mind. You fell
>>>over the coffee table & broke it, & then you puked in the hallway,
>>>and got that black eye when you ran into the door.
>>>Confused, he asked his son, “So, why is everything in such perfect
>>>order & so clean? I have a rose, & breakfast is on the table waiting for me??”
>>>His son replies, “Oh THAT!… Mom dragged you to the bedroom, & when
>>>she tried to take your pants off, you screamed,
>>>”Leave me alone, I’m married!!”
>>>Broken Coffee Table $239.99
>>>Hot Breakfast $4.20
>>>Two Aspirins $.38
>>>Saying the right thing, at the right time . . PRICELESS!!!

The Happy Hangover
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company’s Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn’t taste like alcohol at all. He didn’t even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.
Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, & the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up & sees his clothing in front of him, all clean & pressed. He looks around the room & sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it & a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: “Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian”
He stumbles into the kitchen & sure enough, there is a hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee, & the morning newspaper all waiting for him. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, “Son… what happened last night?”
“Well, you came home after 3 in the morning, drunk & out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table & broke it, & then you puked in the hallway, & got that black eye when you ran into the door.”
Confused, he asked his son, “So, why is everything in such perfect order & so clean? I have a rose, & breakfast is on the table waiting for me?”
His son replies, “Oh THAT! Well, Mom dragged you to the bedroom, & when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed,’Leave me alone, I’m married!’”

I have posted this question in 5 categories that I think will be seen by women. I am a Mumbai housewife. I gave up my job when I got married 4 yrs ago. Now I want to work again & appeared for an interview. I think I will be selected, but my husband says no firm in their right mind would hire me. V have a bet on it. If I dont hear from them in 10 days, I lose & cant apply anywhere for 6 mths & have to be dressed up as an orthrodox housewife in sari, jew, make up, sindoor, mangalsutra, ghooghat, etc for 7 days. He has decided on this cos he knows I prefer to wear jeans & T shirt rather than dolling up like this. He however loves looks the gharelu look. If I am selected, I win. Then what shd I make him do? Make him take leave & do all the housework for a week? Or make him wear kajal & lipstick for a full day. His ears are pierced, so maybe make him wear my earrings for a day? Pls suggest.

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company’s Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn’t taste like alcohol at all. He didn’t even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.
Jack had to force himself to open his eyes & the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up & sees his clothing in front of him, all clean & pressed. He looks around the room & sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it & a kiss mark from his wife in Lipstick:
“Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian”
He stumbles to the kitchen & sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee & the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, “Son… What happened last night?”
“Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk & out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table & broke it, & then you puked in the hallway, & got that black eye when you ran into the door.
Confused, he asked his son, “So, why is everything in such perfect order & so clean? I have a rose, & breakfast is on the table waiting for me??”
His son replies, “Oh THAT! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, & when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, “Leave me alone, I’m married!!”
Broken Coffee Table: $239.99. Hot Breakfast: $4.20. Two Aspirins: $.38. Saying the right thing, at the right time. . . PRICELESS!!!

Jack wakes up with a huge
hangover after attending a
company party. Jack is not normally
a drinker, but the drinks
didn’t taste like alcohol at all.
He didn’t even remember how he got
home from the party. As bad as he was
feeling, he wondered if he did something
wrong.
Jack has to force himself to open his eyes,
and the first thing he sees is a
couple of aspirin next to a glass of water on
the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!
Jack sits up & sees his clothing in front of him,
all clean & pressed. He looks around the room &
sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly
clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirin, cringes when he sees a huge
black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror.
Then he notices a note hanging on the corner
of the mirror written in red with little hearts on
it & a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick:
“Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get
groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight.
I love you, darling!
Love, Jillian.”
He stumbles to the kitchen & sure enough, there is
hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee & the morning
newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.
Jack asks, “Son… what happened last night?”
“Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk & out of
your mind. You fell over the coffee table & broke
it, & then you puked in the hallway, & got
that black eye when you ran into the door.”
Confused, he asked his son, “So, why is everything in
such perfect order & so clean? I have a rose,
and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??”
His son replies, “Oh THAT!… Mom dragged you to the
bedroom, & when she tried to take your pants
off, you screamed, “Leave me alone; I’m married!”
Broken Coffee Table $39.99
Hot Breakfast $4.20
Two Aspirin $.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time . . PRICELESS!!!

We’ve been married for 1,5 years now. We had great times & bad times. Right now it seems to be going downhill so fast… My husband seems to be always irritated by something. When I couldnt find job for some time he was accusing me of not trying hard & failing. I finally found one – great job, great pay & benefits. Now he complains that I spend too much time working, that I am “consumed” with it, that I am “married to my job” (????) Not long time ago I was told that our house is a mess (I continue doing ALL the laundry, cooking & cleaning in the house) Once in a while I get comments that I “look terrible” (when I come home from work without lipstick on my lips) ( ????) When I talk to my friends or family (they are oversees, so I dont get to see them much) on the phone after work or on the weekends he says I am “lollygagging & doing nothing”. The list just goes on. It is always something. There is not one single day we dont have a fight. I just dont know what to do…

I have been friends for 6 or 7 months to a woman that moved into our neighborhood recently. Both of us work from home, so we tend to visit throughout the day. A few days ago, we were sitting at my kitchen table, & we were talking about the new shade of lipstick I was applying when she said softly, “let’s see how it looks on me”. I held it out to her & instead of taking it, she leaned over to me & kissed me full on the mouth. I was in complete shock, although I did kiss her back. She drew back & then started laughing, saying “you should see the look on your face”! I started laughing too & I realized that she was just joking around, trying to get a reaction, but now I can’t get that kiss out of my mind. I’ve thought about telling my husband about it, but can’t bring myself to. I know that he’s always fantasized about two women together. I’ve also thought about kissing her again. I don’t think I would ever take it further than that though. Is that cheating?

two weeks ago , my husband wore a white t-shirt & had an outing-clubbing with his friends.He came back late at abt 3.30pm. Next morning when i was abt to was his t-shirt i noticed a pink stain on the t-shirt shoulder. (more like a lipstick stain).After washing the t-shirt the stain was gone. On Saturday he went clubbing again & came back with the same coloured stain on his t-shirt. When i confronted him ,he said that the waitress accidently brushed against him while him placing his drink order. He goes to a club where there are dancers on the dance floor performing. Most male throw money on these girls. confused please reply. This has been going on for 21 years.

Lipstick on a jacket, strong aftershave never worn before, clean shaven, confidence, attention to appearance, cold, bossy & amourous.

having guts or balls?
Let me suggest
Guts:
arriving home stinking drunk after a late night out, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, & having the GUTS to say, ”
you still not finished cleaning or are you off to your mum’s again?”
Balls:
“arriving home stinking drunk after a late night out, reeking of perfume & booze, lipstick on your collar (and elsewhere) then slapping your wife on the bum & having the BALLS to say, “You’re next, sugart!ts”
what do you think?

Actually we are divorced, but were still dating, loving, & sharing a life. I went out of town for a couple of months & while I was there… he told me that he had fallen in love. Ok.. That’s fair… I was shocked when I returned to our town & met her… She is exactly the type of woman that he always made fun of. Not only is she unattractive, but she wears bright blue eyeshadow & bright pink lipstick… has tanned her skin to the point of extreme wrinkles … she ’s older than him… 65 or so.. 8 yrs older than him…. has a reputation of a man-crazy woman & vicious gossip.. & I am so hurt. I know it’s partially my ego, but goodness, after 15 yrs with this man.. I couldn’t be more surprised if I found out he was gay. I feel like I don’t know him. He won’t talk to me & I am wanting advice on how to deal with these feelings. I am obsessed & it is interfering with my sanity.

hmmm… after some serious thought (3 minutes of my life I will never get back) i have to admit i am stumped…. good luck !

If you have reason to suspect, then you are likely on target. You probably know your husband better than anyone. Pay attention to his habits & you will have your answer.