Lipstick Answers

This is a list created by St. Mary’s Catholic Church, & if 5 or more of these apply to you or your teenager, you or your child is a Gothic (please note “a Gothic”), & you need reform through the Lord for your soul to be saved, according to them, anyway.
1. Frequently wears black clothing.
2. Wears band and/or rock T-shirts.
3. Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick, or nail polish.
4. Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include: reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs, or various other Satanic worshiping symbols.
5. Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
6. Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, & publicly against the Lord. Please dispose of any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
7. Associates with other people that dress, act, or speak eccentrically.
8. Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
9. Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft, or anything else that involves Satan.
10. Takes drugs.
11. Drinks alcohol.
12. Is suicidal and/or depressed.
13. Cuts, burns, or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God & His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)
14. Complains of boredom.
15. Sleeps too excesively or too little.
16. Is excessively awake during the night.
17. Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)
18. Demands an usual amount of privacy.
19. Spends large amount of time alone.
20. Requests time alone & quietness. (This is so your child may speak to evil spirits through meditation.)
21. Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
22. Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns & elders are but a few examples of this.
23. Misbehaves at school.
24. Misbehaves at home.
25. Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.
26. Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe that this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous & should be stopped immediately.)
27. Watches cable TV or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.
28. Plays video games that contains violence or are of a role-playing nature.
29. Uses the internet excessively & frequently makes time for the computer.
30. Makes Satanic symbols or violently shakes head to music.
31. Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
32. Expresses an interest in sex.
33. Masturbates.
34. Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
35. Persues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism, & Buddhism.
36. Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: “I’m so gothic, I’m dead”, “woe is me”, “I’m a goth”.
37. Claims to be a goth.
Apparently, if you have 5 or more, you’re in danger of hellfire. I have 19 of them, so according to these people, I am “a Gothic” & need “immediate reform through the Lord.”

Next year I am going to England or Ireland to be an aupair, & have already started my organisations (Yes, I know… little early, but I love being organised). I will be gone for 9 months to a year, leaving between March & June 2010.
I live in Australia, if that changes anything.
Anyway heres my list, can you tell me if anything needs to be added/removed, & can someone estimate how much it will all weigh please as excess baggage is EXPENSIVE….
- Jeans; light & dark
- Leggings; 2 pairs
- Cardigans; three
- Jumpers; two
- Skirts; three
- Dresses (casual); three
- Dresses (formal); two
- Trackies; two
- Under singlets; four (2 black, 2 white)
- Singlets; four
- T-shirts; three
- Long sleeve tops; three
- Socks; fifteen
-Underwear; fifteen
- Stockings; five
- Coat; one
- Shoes; volleys, runners, heels, boots, flats, thongs
- Make-up; cream foundation, powder foundation, blush, bronzer, eye-liner, mascara, eye-shadow, lip gloss, lipstick
- Skin care; cleanser, toner, moisturiser, body wash, razor, make up remover wipes
- Hair care; shampoo, conditioner, treatment, hairspray, mousse, brush, comb, hair ties & hair accessories
- Electricals; hair straightener, curling wand, barrel curler, iPod & charger, phone & charger, laptop & charger, hair dryer, digital camera & cords
- Recipe book (meals I like, & that are practical & easy to make for family)
- Books; three or four
- First aid kit; bandaids, ???
- Photo album

1. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick’s Day parade – at any time of the year.
2. All beds have special L-shaped top sheets that reach up to armpit level on a woman but only waist level on the man lying beside her.
3. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
4. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off – even while scuba diving.
5. The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there & you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.
6. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
7. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.
8. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

I compiled this list from the answers Ive gotten& looked up
Touching yourself in clothes
Putting on lipstick in public,
dangling a sandal from a crossed leg,
finger combing hair & flipping it,
bending down & pulling your tights up,oh yeah & SMILING directly at him can be a super turn-on.
#Give him a soft rube on the stomache a kiss on the neck & he will take over from there
#rub yourself on his leg very slowly. Then do little things like grab the sides of his face & kiss him.
#easy brushing yout hand against his arm..blowing in his ear, little things can turn them on.
#make eye contact & just keep smiling at him
# Accidentally get in his way & let him bump into you. Be sure to let him have a good solid impact on your softest parts.Dont expect much apology because his brain will be scrambled & trying to restart!
#Accidentally move your hands into his way as he reaches for something.A momentary skin-to-skin contact will get him
ADD TO MY LIST PEOPLE!

You have found a new war-game
called Love.
Here on your dressing-table
stand arrayed
brave ranks of lipsticks
brandishing
swords of cherry pink & flame.
Behold the miniature armies
of little jars
packed with the scented
dynamite of flowers.
See the dreaded tweezers;
tiny pots
of manufactured moonlight,
stick-on stars.
Beware my sweet;
conquest may seem easy
but you can’t compete with football,
motor cycles, cars,
cricket, computer-games,
or a plate of chips.

I’ve just had a clean out. I found: 2 take away menus, 5 old shopping lists, 4 lipsticks, a mouse toy for our cat, some tissues, hand cream, a screwdriver & a pair of pliers.
What’s in your handbag?