Lipstick Answers

i have quickly written some song lyrics, & i need some advice on them
As you stumble through the door,
At 3 in the morn,
Something’s going on
But I’m not sure what
You look like a complete mess,
And if you do not confess
To all the things you’ve done
I think I’m gonna run.
I need to get out of here
To keep my self sane
Because at the moment it feels like it’s gonna rain
On my parade
I can see that lipstick print
Stained onto your neck
Bright pink & looking fresh
Standing out there on your flesh

ok,so i know this girl (let’s call her Tess)and she showed me some ’signs’ that she’s being messing with my head a lot these last months.
First there are sometimes that when we talk, i feel that she’s leaning more & more to me like if she wats to kiss me or something.Last monday i was standing in the hall & looking at random ppl & she was staring sideways (because i was on her left side) & applying lipstick in a ”flirty” way.There are times that she will touch my hands & stroke me.She also has in her fb interested in section Men & women but i’m not sure if she really means it that way.also one day she was singing at me a song that it’s lyrics say “you know i like you”
Now back to something that happened this week.We were at a club me & some of my girl & guy-friends & Tess was there too.I’m sure she saw me but she didn’t say hi & she was keep talking to a guy friend of mine,while i was standing right in front of him.Then they went to have a drink in the bar i said Hi Tess & she said “Hi Somethin,you look very beuatiful on this dress” & i said ‘’so does this dress make me look that different & you couldn’t recognise me??”asking her indirectly if the reason that she didn’t wave on me was my make up & dress that made me look different & she couldn’t recognise me…but she said again you look very beautiful.After this we were dancing & she was with her friends when i went to have a drink.When I came back i saw her dancing with this guy frinds of mine & she didn’t look at me,but when i was coming to their place she left again.Btw i’m certain that she deosn’t like this guy friend of mine in that way.
Why was she ignoring me???

okay so im in my teens & I saw the movie Pearl Harbor with Kate Beckinsale in it. I just LOVED how she did her makeup. All she wore was a little mascara & red lipstick. Do you think this shade of lipstick is appropriate?
All i do is i apply chapstick as a base then i outline my lips lightly with a red lip liner. then i just fill it in with the lip liner. & for my eyes all i do is apply mascara to the top lids.
heres a pic for examplehttp://wwwimage.cbsnews.com/images/2004/…
do you think this is appropriate?

How do you know & where is it (if there’s any)?
(Makeup as in ANYTHING, I mean will they look like that just after washing their face, lol sounds stupid I know, I can’t even make out if they’re wearing lipstick but then I’m really dumb)
And the skin(can you really have skin like that?)
And does make up(any quantity) make your face look a lot different?
1. (allaboutasia.files.wordpress.com/
2009/04/
yoon-eun-hye
-lady-castle-comeback(dot)jpg)
2. (coffee-prince.com/wp-
content/uploads/2007/
06
/chae-jung-ahn(dot)jpg)
Please replate (dot) with .
Y!A keeps removing my question because of the links

ok, i am bored & stuck at home because i am sick, & i was randomly thinking of halloween (yum candy..). i kind of want to do a joker thing. if i just used some really really bright red lipstick, & kinda put whitish powder on my face, would that work? i would also wear a green wig, but not all nasty like his was in the movie. i want a more clean look. any other ideas?

So there’s this chick named Scarlett, & shes being all slutty because my advice is better then hers.
And honestly, girls want a guys advice. A lot of eye make up & pink lipstick. All you need ladies.

The story is going to be called weddings, funerals, & other miseries. I’m fifteen, I aced my English test last week & I’ve only edited this chapter once.
Chapter one.
It was another wet night for Alex, he locked up the shop, combed his slick, black hair & began to bike his way home, just like he did every other night. Alex had worked at the local music store for the past five years now, he got hired when he was fifteen by his Dad, who ran the store, & now Alex was in management; His parents died in a tragic accident, they were driving home from another wedding, for some reason his family liked weddings, funerals, any annoying gathering that forces misery or happiness onto everyone there.
Of course, they were drunk. Driving by the cliffs near his seaside house, his Father swerved from the edge into the deep blue below them, the car wasn’t found for another two weeks, all that was left from each person was half a decaying corpse, Alex didn’t talk about this much, he hated it. The funeral was like any other, the same lot always arriving, one man arrived who Alex had never seen before, the man left before the wake when he was hoping he would be able to introduce himself. Alex moved into a new apartment, the depression of riding past the cliffs every day antagonized him, it made him more pissed off to be upset, that he would forget about being upset.
Alex sat on his bed in his foggy, green swamp of a bedroom, & opened his draw where he kept all the savings he had, as well as his “special friend”. He pulled out a bag of white powder & walked into his living room. He poured some coke onto the glass coffee table that he lost his virginity on & began his favorite part, pulling out the razorblade & making fine lines, pouring out some wine to drink between lines. He was ready to snort the chemicals deep into his system. He rolled up a ten pound note & bent over the table, sniffing up line by line until he had finished three. He gulped down his blood red wine, tipped the rest of his Charlie into the bag & rolled up a joint.
He turned on his old television & put on some Saturday morning cartoons, that was the strange thing about cocaine, Alex could stay up all night, & even weed wouldn’t tire him. He would stare at the walls then, just to end the high on a subtle note, watch some cartoons, baked out of his mind, sinking deeper into the sofa. There was a knock at the door “Rent money…rent money…rent money!!” Alex leapt into his bedroom & grabbed the one hundred pound for this week. He opened the door to see an old woman, somewhere in her eighties: purple hair, too much make up, curlers in. “Her you go Mrs. Wench. All one hundred, I love your red hair today.” Alex always gave her a compliment, just so she wouldn’t get annoyed with him & decide to search the flat. She always preferred having her hair called red, even she doesn’t know why, the crack around her lips looked like various canals leading into a big see of red lipstick. “Oh **** off you little ****, I know what you’re up to!”
”And a nice day to you too, Mrs. Wench!” He called after her on her way down the corridor.

This is a list created by St. Mary’s Catholic Church, & if 5 or more of these apply to you or your teenager, you or your child is a Gothic (please note “a Gothic”), & you need reform through the Lord for your soul to be saved, according to them, anyway.
1. Frequently wears black clothing.
2. Wears band and/or rock T-shirts.
3. Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick, or nail polish.
4. Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include: reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs, or various other Satanic worshiping symbols.
5. Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
6. Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, & publicly against the Lord. Please dispose of any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
7. Associates with other people that dress, act, or speak eccentrically.
8. Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
9. Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft, or anything else that involves Satan.
10. Takes drugs.
11. Drinks alcohol.
12. Is suicidal and/or depressed.
13. Cuts, burns, or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God & His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)
14. Complains of boredom.
15. Sleeps too excesively or too little.
16. Is excessively awake during the night.
17. Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)
18. Demands an usual amount of privacy.
19. Spends large amount of time alone.
20. Requests time alone & quietness. (This is so your child may speak to evil spirits through meditation.)
21. Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
22. Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns & elders are but a few examples of this.
23. Misbehaves at school.
24. Misbehaves at home.
25. Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.
26. Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe that this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous & should be stopped immediately.)
27. Watches cable TV or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.
28. Plays video games that contains violence or are of a role-playing nature.
29. Uses the internet excessively & frequently makes time for the computer.
30. Makes Satanic symbols or violently shakes head to music.
31. Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
32. Expresses an interest in sex.
33. Masturbates.
34. Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
35. Persues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism, & Buddhism.
36. Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: “I’m so gothic, I’m dead”, “woe is me”, “I’m a goth”.
37. Claims to be a goth.
Apparently, if you have 5 or more, you’re in danger of hellfire. I have 19 of them, so according to these people, I am “a Gothic” & need “immediate reform through the Lord.”

it also sais something about a mini skirt, suntan line & red lipstick! Plz help need song for theatre

Hey everybody! Im 13 & im going on my first date with a guy i really like tomorrow. I want to know how to apply make up & look actually good. Can u please tell me what i need. Tips, youtube tutorials, or anything else would help! I have foundation, lipgloss, lipstick, eyeliner (i suck at putting it on), & thats pretty much it.
THANKS SO MUCH For your time!
p.s I actually wanna look good tomorrow.

So my 11yr old sister has to do a poetry unit for school. She wanted me to post some of her poems to see what ppl thought about them..
Here they r:
#1 I don’t understand
What life really is
Why gangs kill people
Why life can be stressful
But most of all
Why the economy is so bad
Why there is racism
What love is
Why life is like a rollercoaster.
What I understand most is
Why it rains
Why the sky is blue
Why the world goes round
Why I live life.
#2MARCH springs in
with a happy smile stretching
across her face
She dances around
on the green-grass
covered ground
Bounces up and
down & all around
Then glides sadly
out of the way for April.
#3Just because I’m athletic
It doesn’t mean I’m mean
It doesn’t mean I’m spoiled
It doesn’t mean I’m not smart
Just because I’m athletic
It doesn’t mean I don’t have friends
It doesn’t mean I don’t have fun
It doesn’t mean I’m selfish
#4CAN YOU IMAGINE…
A city without violence
This classroom in silence
Basketball without a ball
Reno without a mall
Ducks wearing lipstick
No barbecue at a picnic
Sky without stars
Jail with no bars
Thrusdays without New York Undercover
Being born without having a mother
The Lakers after Shaq
Harlem without crack
Pepsi without caffeine
Every night having the same dream?
#5I AM
I am the wine & the future
I wonder how many ripples I will have to swim
I hear the trickle of time in a bitter bottle
I see the translucent red drain from the wine
I want the sweet satin liquid to stain my tongue
I am the wine & the future.
I pretend to entertain the glowing embers
I feel the dew that sours the grapes
I touch the vine that grows new life
I worry the drunkard may speak the truth
I cry the dewdrop tears on the winery walls
I am the wine & the future.
I understand the dust on the bottle
I say it only makes it sweeter with time
I dream the sponge cork may never be replaced by lips
I try to glimmer the crack in my glass container
I hope the sun-faded label never creases for lost identity
I am the wine & the future.
So what do u think?

I am going to tell you right now I am no expert & please don’t be a jerk about what you think. Sorry if I make grammatical errors. I will love your comments because I am trying to get better at writing. This is only my first chapter so forgive me if it doesn’t make sense. I am using { that symbol because I am not sure how to do italics on here for thoughts.
Twilight settled atop of the rocky mountains giving the sky a purple hue. The earth let out a gentle sigh for the day was almost done; in the courtyard, red roses, yellow tulips, & other wild flowers waved to the sky. As the moon climbed the sky, frogs, crickets, & other creatures came out to fill the night with singing. A mosquito buzzed on by & landed on a black leather coat. Vergil flicked it off of his shoulder & back into the sky.
Patiently, Vergil waited for Saren, the leader of the Veronan army, who was supposed to give him some orders. Once again he looked down on to the town of Verona, its lights sliced through the night, however you could not hear its inhabitants. He walked over to the turlte fountain in the center of the courtyard.
{Damn, I am getting bored. Maybe it’s a good thing if Saren doesn’t show up, he is always giving me the crappy clean up jobs. Even if I am a spy I deserve better, after the morron considers me his best soldier.}
The gate flew open behind Vergil & it hit a statue. Saren stomped in with his black hair all over his pale face. “Ah, there you are!” Saren said with a low growl. “I need you to dispose of a demon for me.”
{Wow a real job, I wonder if this demon is just a fat hideous person. I will probably just ditch this place if it is.}
Saren reached into his black pants & handed Vergil a piece of paper, “This is the address where the thing lives & it goes by the name of Eve. It may seem harmless, but it is pretty vicious & needs to be taken care of before it kills.”
{Yes Sherlock I am going to have a cup of tea with this demon. I should do the world a favor & just get rid of him here & now.}
“Are you up to it,” Saren asked, as if there were another option.
“Yes, Sir,” Vergil replied. Quickly he left before he could change his mind about killing Saren. “That would be an intresting match, that half god, more like demon, & against my half demon self,” Vergil laughed to himself.
“Where is Eve?” Dave, the singer of Krotch Rockets, yelled from atop of the small stage in Eve’s livingroom.
Eve stopped talking to one of her friends & suddenly got up to go to the kitchen because she knew Dave was going to sing.
“Sarah get her! She is making a run for it,” Jeff siad after grabbing the mike from Dave. The kitchen door came open & Sarah stood there with crossed arms & a silly scowl behind her brown hair.
“ha what are you going to do tickle me?” Eve mocked tossing back her strawberry blonde pig tails.
“No I am going to bribe you!” she smiled holding up a bar.
“What is that?” Eve sniffed.
“It is chocolate, but not just any chocolate it has a little rum in it since you are twenty one,” Sarah grinned holding the bar high above her head.
“I will bite your arm off if you don’t hand it over!” Eve demanded & followed Sarah through her twenty gusts up to the stage. “Okay, I am here, now give it.”
“You really are pathetic,” Sarah laughed.
“Song first,” Dave teased. Even though Eve was dressed pretty cool with her black & red plaid skirt, black tank top, & combat boots, she still managed to get hot. Her cheeks even felt hot as tehy sung to her. Sarah did not sing, instead she laughed at the fact that Eve was as read as the lipstick she was wearing.
“Mine!” Eve lunged at the bar & clung it to her chest.
When she tried to sneak off stage Jeff pulled her back, “You can’t go yet.” He handed up a giant green box.
‘Alright, I’ll stay as long as you don’t sing to me again.” Most of Eve’s gifts were alcoholic or some cool CDs & afterward most of her friends left because they had some exams tomorrow for some college class. Today it was May fifteen so it wasn’t quite summer & Eve didn’t finish her sophmore year until June. For a while Sarah & Eve chatted on the porch about anything & everything until Eve began to grow weary. “Well I need ot hit the sack,” Eve yawned.
“What, don’t be such a pansy,” Sarah said.
“I may be a pansy, but you my friend are an elder berry,” she laughed back.
“You win this time. Well I will see you later,” Sarah replied & before she left she had to get the last joke in. “Oh & I ordered you a couple of male strippers.”
“They better not be fat.”
“Of course not, they are fat & ugly.”
“Goodnight.”
Wen Eve got inside, she began to pick up the plastic cups that were al over the counter. It is a good thing her friends weren’t total animals when it came to parties. As Eve went to pick up the last bit

im just going to give you some bits to read, not a whole chapter. i tried copy & pasting about a page & a half of four different parts before, & only the first & half of the second part came out. lol didnt know there was a limit to how much u cud write for ur question.
anyway, be brutal.
okay, here goes:
BIT #1…
At the door, Mabel pulled a ring of keys out from under her doormat & fumbled around with them until finally opening the door. Molly got off of Mabel once inside the house & made herself comfortable on the couch. Mabel locked the door once more.
“Is it really necessary to lock the door?”
“We wouldn’t want you running away, now would we?” a rough male voice spoke.
Molly whipped around to see a man dressed in all black staring at her malevolently. A cruel smile was on his wolf-like features. His teeth were sharp & pointy like an animal’s, & his irises were black. A cloak bathed most of his face in shadow, making him all the more wicked.
“Don’t be scared pumpkin. We don’t bite.” He flashed his wolf smile at her. The pointy teeth were mocking & deadly all at once.
“At least not now, anyway. Traebon wants you in one piece, & it wouldn’t go down too well if we disobeyed.” Another man appeared beside the first one. He had brown stubble, unlike the first man, who was clean-shaven. Molly noticed for the first time that there were not two pairs of onyx eyes staring at her; there were six, each scattered in corners of the room. Up until now, Molly had not noticed them.
“What’s the matter? Dog got your tongue?”
Molly was too frozen with fear to tell him that it was ‘cat’, not ‘dog’.
“Come on, get up. Traebon needs us back by dawn tomorrow.” The first man prodded her forcefully; she stumbled backwards into the coffee table.
Mustering up all her courage, Molly asked, “Who are you?”
“Does it really matter?”
“It does if you want me to come with you.”
The first man chuckled. “Feisty, aren’t you? Look, I hate to burst your bubble, but you’re coming with us whether you like it or not. We could take you forcefully, or you could come along nice & easy.”
“I want to know who you are.” Molly insisted. “If you’re going to kidnap me, you might as well introduce yourselves.”
“Just shove her in the sack & get it over with, Damien!” a female growled from a corner. Molly turned to see a pin straight bleached blonde woman sitting around the kitchen table. Another man sat next to her, hand on her knee. She was dressed the same as everyone else, with the exception of red lipstick covering her full lips.
“I’m sorry, Hollie, did Traebon make you the leader of this mission?”
Hollie said nothing, but glared warningly at him
BIT #2…
Life in the castle was slow & uneventful for Molly. The first few days were horrible. Since she was not allowed outside of her room, Molly would sit in a corner, body facing the wall, sobbing as quietly as she could manage. Zoe hadn’t said anything. In fact, there had been no complaint from Zoe. Molly almost thought they had released her, or given her another room away from Molly. But when she turned around, she saw Zoe seated at the desk, scribbling on some paper. Then she would face the wall once more & continue crying.
Molly cried for a number of reasons. She cried because of hysteria, & she cried because she missed her old life. She cried because her parents had made her move into Eureka. She also cried because she knew, from the bottom of her fearful heart, that at any moment of the day Damien could kick the door open & tell her that Traebon had finally decided what to do with her. But mostly, she cried because she was just plain sad.
That was how the first days were. Nothing special. Just tears from Molly, & a lot of writing from Zoe. But soon, Molly realized that no one would be coming to get her anytime soon. She fell into a pattern. She would sleep through breakfast, which came at nine, & wake around lunch. A servant would come in with a silver tray of food & take away the empty breakfast tray that Zoe devoured alone every morning. After lunch someone would fetch them for some activity outside. There would be several guards watching from the shadows, not to mention the dozens of red eyes peering at her from the bushes. Molly found ways to entertain herself, either by sunbathing or writing poems under the shade of the trees.
After a couple of hours outside, the leading guard would hustle them back to their rooms. Molly & Zoe would have fifteen minutes to freshen up before going down the stone steps to eat dinner with Traebon & his best men.
it probably makes no sense. just read it, rate it 1/10, tell me how interesting it sounds, & what the problems were. everything is subject to change, as any writing should be until it gets published. if it helps, my story is a fantasy.
anyway, thanks in advance for all of ur support! when i get it published, im definitely mentioning yahoo answers in my acknowledgeme

Hey. So I am 14 & my name is Courtney YES I AM A GIRL.
Well there is this other girl I hate hate hate named Jane, & she had a big party & omg… she invited me! She only invited me because she knew that I am popular & stuff.
She was rude with me the entire night & poured my drink on the ground (wtf she has to clean it anyways?) & then I got angry & went upstairs into her parents bedroom. Her parents knew she was having this party.
I opened a drawer & found a pack of condoms… well rofl..
I opened one condom. I streched it out & stuff so it looks like it was used. Then I went into the bathroom & I found a bottle of scentless creame & I poured some of the cream on my hand, it had no smell & it was like this clearish whitish colour. Well I squirted some into the condom!
Then I put the condom on her parents bed.
Then I squirted mosturizer in some areas of the bed & put my fignngers in it & pulled it around so it looked like cuummmm! rofll!!
Then I opened my purse & took out some lipstick & I put it on my lips, & I grabbed this white pillow, & I kissed it HARD & my lip marks were on it, & I put the pillow right next to the condom & fake sperm.
I left & I stayed around until Janes parents came home & when her mom went up she opened the bedroom & saw the pillow with the kiss mark, the sperm all over the bed & the condom & Janes mom freaked out & slapped Jane & screamed at her so much & she thought Jane had sex!
Then I left the room right, & I was just peeking & she took Jane’s pants off & she like was examining her vag (her mom is an OBGYN!) & she said stuff like her hymen is ripped & she had to have had sex or something & then her mom is making her take all these tests…
Was it too harsh?
will I get caught?
cuz no one saw me go upstairs.

so as a girl, i know we can sometimes be fake. well, at least in a guy’s opinion. so this if for the guys, to what extent will you accept a girl who uses some fake things, & then when is it you can’t take it anymore?
i’m going to list all of the following things i’ve noticed girls use that is fake, & guys answer which ones you don’t mind, & girls answer which ones you use. got it?
fake nails
fake hair (extensions)
fake eyelashes
fake boobs
*heels (fake height)
lip plumper (fake lips; collagen)
tanning booth
fairness cream
*waxing (i.e. eyebrows, upper lip, legs, etc)
*shaving
makeup (lipstick, eyeshado, blush, all colored stuff)
dying hair (fake color)
permanent mascara dye
pencil eyebrows
fake nose
*color contacts
etc, any other examples?
now you might be surprised i put some of them, because you use them daily or you have never thought about them. i just wanted girls to realize how sometimes we put an unnecessary effort into our looks. the ones that i starred, apply to me.

1.Your mama is fat when she jumped she got stuck on air.
2.Your mama is so Stupid she Locked her self at a grocery store & died of starvation.
3.Your mama is o ugly she made onions cry.
4.Your mama is so fat she had to put speed bomb at Mc Donald’s.
5.Yo mama so fat even dora couldn’t explore her
6.Yo mama so fat when she stepped on the scale it was your own
Phone Number!!
7.Yo mama so dirty that she makes poo look clean
8.you mama is so fat when she walked outside with all red on all of the kids started to shout koolade koolade
Yo mama so fat her nickname is “Lardo”
Yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller
Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th
Yo mama so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago…
Yo mama so fat she went to the movies & sat next to everyone
Yo mama so fat even Bill Gates couldn’t pay for her liposuction!
Like it Star Me any other good ones.

The Barbie doll enjoys being one of the worlds most popular toys. However, along the way to getting that status, there were a number of doll variations that never quite made it. This is a list of the Barbie dolls that you most likely haven’t seen on store shelves lately…
Scratch & Sniff Barbie (Use your imagination…we’re not saying a word.)
Crash Test Barbie
Opera Barbie (complete with the horns & the brass brassiere)
Marie Antionette Barbie (with removable head; guillotine included)
Hiroshima Barbie (just a shadow of her former self)
Enron Barbie (Originally sold for $29.95, but now you can’t give her away.)
Frozen Barbie on a Stick (in your grocer’s frozen food section)
Divorce Barbie (includes the house, the car, & half of Ken’s crap)
Broken Bungee Barbie
FrankenBarbie (green Barbie with bolts through her neck)
Shock Therapy Barbie (car battery & wires included)
Samuel L. Jackson Ken (He’ll get medieval on your a**.)
Manic Depressive Barbie (with a set of Oriental throwing knives)
Biker Barbie (with leather jacket, tattoos, & red bandana)
Cheesehead Barbie (Wisconsin’s best)
Dogsled Barbie
Peg Leg Barbie
Eye Patch Barbie
Politically Incorrect Barbie (Pull the string & she loudly blurts all your favorite racial slurs.)
Death Row Barbie (formerly #31)
Life Size Anatomically Correct Barbie (for all you perverts out there)
Martha Stewart Barbie (comes with orange jumpsuit & color-coordinated accessories)
Homeless Barbie (complete with stolen K-Mart shopping cart)
Tattoo Barbie
Burn Victim Barbie (bandages & Bactine included)
Venus de Milo Barbie (made of rock; no head, no arms)
Bulemic Barbie (Feed her, then make her throw it back up!)
Cyberpunk Barbie (includes ‘trodes & implants)
White Trash Barbie
Serial Killer Barbie
Drag Queen Ken (Comes with three, count ‘em, three, of Barbie’s dresses.)
Acupuncture Barbie (not recommended or children under seven)
Voodoo Doll Barbie (see #33 above)
Cannibal Barbie (Great visual imagery, huh?)
Fast Food Barbie (Also known as McBarbie…you want fries with that?)
Teenage Slut Barbie (see #21)
Polar Bear Club Barbie (dip her in cold water, & her skin turns from pink to blue!)
Ski Bunny Barbie (soon to be #60)
Sucking Chest Wound Barbie
Alien Barbie (Don’t tell ANYONE…)
Ken In Black (protecting Barbie from the worst scum of the universe)
Alien Eyewitness Barbie (vacant expression, been flashed one too many times with the neuralizer)
Mafia Ken (With a violin case…you got a problem with that?)
Alcoholics Anonymous Barbie (With coffee mug & 12-step guide)
Mutant Barbie (comes with Dark Phoenix costume)
Las Vegas Showgirl Barbie (with skimpy dress)
FemmiNazi Barbie (Pull the string & find out why men suck.)
Goth grrl Barbie (with black hair & lipstick, dog collar, & 20-hole Doc Martens)
Body Piercing Barbie
Napoleon Ken (stands 2″ tall)
Midget Barbie (partner to #51, above)
Spank-Me Barbie (see #37)
Shish-Ka-Barbie (Here’s one we’d all like to see!)
Knocked-Up Barbie
Chain Smoker Barbie (with Surgeon General’s warning on box)
Tough B*tch Barbie (see #14)
Junkie Barbie (Gotta love those needle tracks…)
Iron Maiden Barbie (No, not the band…)
Avalanche Barbie (buried in 16 feet of snow)
Hooker Barbie (#47 after the show)
Cross-Dressing Ken, er, Barbie, er, Ken (Who knows?)
Whoopie Cushion Barbie (Do you really need a description?)
Microsoft Barbie (Barbie doll with Bill Gates’ head. Seeks to eliminate all other dolls.)
Realistic Teenage Barbie (flat chest, braces, & acne)
Internet Addiction Barbie (Pale complexion, bloodshot eyes, & coffee-stained clothes.
Pull the string & she either spouts URL’s or mutters to herself.)
Triple Espresso Barbie (pull the string & she shakes uncontrollably for hours)
Shop-’Til-You-Drop Barbie (with a wallet full of credit cards)
Collection Agency Ken (starts calling 6 months after you buy #68, above)
Bankruptcy Barbie (formerly #68 above; Chapter VII or Chapter XIII available)
Tasmanian Barbie (spins like a top)
Siamese Twins Barbie (Actually, I believe they prefer to be called “conjoined twins”.)
Edible Barbie (also known as Choc-O-Barbie)
Hockey Barbie (With bruises, a hockey stick, & missing teeth.)
Triple Bypass Barbie
Diarrhea Barbie (Always on the run.)
Kleptomaniac Barbie (with suction cup hands)
Witch Doctor Ken (partner to #34, above)
Elvira Barbie (with long black hair & skimpy black gown)
Werewolf Barbie (normal doll, except under a full moon)
Living Dead Barbie (use your imagination)
Bigfoot Barbie (sold mostly in the Northwest)
Cyclops Barbie (One eye, right in the middle of her forehead.)
Cyclops Ken (A perfect partner for #46.)
Flying Hero Barbie (Yes, I know they made this one, but it’s at least as ludicrous as anything we came up

1.
I brushed my teeth, sleepily, & rinsed my mouth. I put the brush back in its place, & splashed water on my face & forced my eyes open.
****. Another pimple had developed over night on my forehead. I rubbed the spot, making the pimple red.
Shuddering with the scary thought of the pimple, I left the bathroom, & headed up to my room. I went into my closet, & brought out my outfit of the day: a white semi-transparent cotton shirt, & a pair of black skinny jeans.
I matched it with red lipstick, & eyeliner & long lash mascara. My black bra showed through my lacy white shirt. Perfect! That should get all the hot guys’ attentions.
I went down to breakfast, after finishing the look with a purple Gucci tote. I tossed it on the sofa, & sat down at the dining table, where my step mother, Janice, was buttering a toast. She eyed me disdainfully.
“What are you wearing, Sarah”?” she asked, pointing the butter knife at me.
I looked down at myself. “What’s wrong with it?”
She looked at me as if the answer was the most obvious thing in the whole world. “Your black bra is showing through your white shirt!” she pointed out. “Can you please sober up a bit?”
I rolled my eyes. “Come on, Janice!” I said. “Get with it. This is in the vogue right now.”
Janice took a deep breath. Then she said, “I wish you would stop dressing like a total skank.” The last part came out as a whisper, but I caught it with my sharp ears, anyway.
“And I wish you would stop butting in my life, & keep out.” I tried to keep the words sugar coated, of course, but it was simply impossible to keep the hatred for her off my voice.
She was worse than an evil stepmother you read about in fairy tales. Because she was not exactly evil. She was somewhat annoying, & would never stop advising me about the way I dress. And I could never eat breakfast in peace until I dressed like Virgin Mary.
“You need to listen to Janice,” said my dad.
Did I mention the part where my dad butts in? The only solution now is that I carry my bowl of cereal to the backyard & eat in the company of our dim witted Labrador, Dolce, whom I really have a hard time to keep away from sniffing my bowl. I have to scream really loud at him before he would back off.
Then I picked up the bowl & headed off the backyard as per my usual routine. Kirsten & Mark, my eight year old step siblings were arguing, or rather screaming, about the channel dad had tuned the TV to. Mark yelled in my ear, “HBO!”
“Back off!” I snarled, & exited the room for some peace of mind.
I sat down on the porch steps, & ate my cornflakes. When I was finished, I dumped the bowl in the kitchen sink for the maid to clean it later on.
Then I grabbed my tote & twenty five dollars of allowance of the day. I took my red Mercedes Benz SL-Class keys & went into the garage. The four cars stood in a line.
I got into my Merc, & revved. I nearly hit the lamp post near the house, but I seldom cared, as this is the way I always drive, & have been driving for three years now. Until now, the lamp post has not suffered any kind of injury at all.
I drove to my school – St. Stephen’s Academy. I got a parking spot, & parked my car there.
I hoisted the tote on my shoulder, & walked up the huge stone steps. The school was one of the best in the whole of Miami.
I went over to my locker. The next locker to mine belonged to my best friend, Jessica Masterson. She was there, reading something.
I sneaked over to her, & said in her ear, “Boo!”
As usual, she just gave me her bored look, & told me to stop yelling every time I saw her, because it did not affect her at all.
“What are you reading?” I snatched the paper out of her hands. It was covered in pink little hearts. Sick, I tell you.
Jessica was a lesbian. But thankfully, she never, ever tried anything sexual with me, though I doubt she does not have any feelings about me. Yuck! She knew I was totally heterosexual.
“Ooh!” I teased her. “Love letter!”
The letter was from Sophia Burton, another notorious lesbo. I handed back it back to Jess. I could not read it much, on account the writing was overlapped with pink crayon.
“Thrilling, isn’t it?” Jess said dryly. “God, it was just one kiss. She wants to sleep with me already! Can you please explain me why? She’s not even very good looking!”
I don’t understand the chemistry between homosexuals, so I was the last person to know the reason why Sophia wanted to **** my best friend. Go ask a homosexual, I wanted to say.
“I am throwing a sleepover,” she said, tearing the letter. “It’s on for tonight. Lots of girls. You’re on the top of my list, of course. Don’t worry, most of the girls have their own boyfriends.”
I laughed. “I’ll come – even if it was an all lesbo party. But would have just made it sure that I would be sleeping in another room, of course.”
“So, see ya tonight,” Jess said. “And wear those pink pyjamas, please! I love them.”

For a few years now my classic look was gold or purple eyeshadow (typically) & pinkish red stained lips. So the focus was on the eyes.
Now I want to try something new: Nude eyeshadow colors paired with a bright orange-red lipstick.
What do you think? I’ve never had that color lipstick before, but since my lips are quite big I think it’d look nice. Bring attention to them for once.

I know it’s amateur, & I have no plans of trying to publish it, but should I continue writing it?
The last thing I could remember was the intensely light sensation of falling; wind blew up toward the sky with my hair as one, as my eyes looked up to the clouds & the sun for the last glimpse of light that would ever reach my lifetime. I knew I was about to die, & I wasn’t concerned about pain, I was only worried about what would happen after the next few seconds were over. I didn’t feel the impact, I didn’t feel an ounce of pain, all I could feel was a calm sense of euphoria, as the end of my life was a more peaceful experience than I had expected.
I didn’t exactly black out; It was a little bit more complicated. I felt like sunshine in a way, light, calm, not quite excited, not exactly scared, but numb with pleasure. I was dying nearly happily. Something I didn’t expect.
I woke up in bed. It was not a familiar bed & the sheets crinkled with every twitch of my surprisingly un-sore body. Light emanated through a large window with a spectacular view of a sunrise; streaks of pink-tinted golden light danced on pale white walls. Elegant lighting gave the room an sense of timeless beauty, & pale blue carpet looked soft & welcoming. I was the room’s only tenant & there were no other beds, so under the strange circumstances, I was glad to have my own room.
Reality struck me in the face with a harsh blow as I remember what had happened. I was on the fourth floor of the school; in the rooftop garden. I had been studying plants in AP biology & had left my notebook. I went back up to get it, & I walked to the edge of the roof (if you look around a large building, you can see the ocean), & fell from leaning too far over the edge, down 4 stories, & into the hard ground. At least my last moments were to see the ocean.
The door of the room opened & a kind-looking woman walked in wearing a clean, pressed, white outfit, made for a nurse. She had a deep tan, with auburn hair pulled into a tight ponytail, then the loose hair waved about 1/3 ways down her back. She had deep chocolate- brown eyes & perfect, ultra white teeth under full, deep red-lipstick-stained lips. She approached me with a clipboard under her arm, & a welcoming look in her eyes.
“Hello Indigo, my name is Martha.” She said. “I know that this is confusing, but you need to relax, okay Hon?” I nodded. I attempted to ask her “What is going on?” but my voice wouldn’t emit any sound. I mouthed the words as tears swelled up in my eyes- a clear case of panic- & the salty tears rolled down my cheeks, & over my soundless mouth.
“Sssssshhhhh, honey, ssshhhhh.” Martha set the clipboard down with well-manicured fingernails & embraced me. I didn’t know this woman, but her touch felt oddly familiar. I didn’t know this woman, I didn’t understand what was going on, & all that I could do was cry. I don’t know for how long, but I just sat there in this stranger’s- Martha’s- arms.
When my eyes were swollen & held no more tears, I looked at Martha. She was still just as calm as she had when she walked in. She looked back down with a sympathetic look in her eyes & spoke.
“Listen, before you get too overwhelmed, let me tell you that your voice will come back, & everything will be just fine. You are in a, well, sort of a hospital. We call it a recovery center.” I looked at her with what felt like a confused expression.
“Don’t be alarmed, please don’t be scared, but your dead. ” I didn’t know I could cry anymore, but I did. And she continued.
“I suppose this is a sort of heaven, & I will get into more detail about that when you feel better. It is run like any place that was on earth. It isn’t exactly like earth, but is is very similar. Time continues, we have a sky, but there is no war. There is no hunger. There is little turmoil that creates serious danger. You will see your family & friends again one day, but not very soon. You will learn to understand, I promise.”
I couldn’t very well process the situation, & I suppose I went into a state of shock. For the next few days, I ate when I was given food, I watched when they turned on strange, new looking movies with actors that should be dead, but were alive & young again. I saw Meralyn Monroe, James Dean, Humphrey Bogart, all acting even better than they had before. The nurse- Martha- was extremely kind; bringing the food, changing the channels, showing me to a shower & clean clothes. But I wasn’t really there. Or that’s at least how I felt. Numb.
After about a week under Martha’s care, I began to get my voice back. It was small, & I didn’t want to talk, so I didn’t let anyone know. Martha would sit next to me in the day & just talk. I didn’t want to be alone & she somehow knew it. She would ask me simple yes or no questions, to which I would nod or shake my head. She wouldn’t tell me abut where we are, or what was going on, I suppose it wa